Saturday, April 30, 2005
Babae vs Apoy
Tanong: Ano ang pagkakaiba ng babae at ng apoy?
Sagot: Ang apoy ay may init na nakamamatay, samantalang ang babae ay may init na nakabubuhay.
Sagot: Ang apoy ay may init na nakamamatay, samantalang ang babae ay may init na nakabubuhay.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Itlog vs Balut
Tanong: Anong pagkakaiba ng itlog at balut?
Sagot: Sa balut ang balahibo ay nasa loob, samantalang sa itlog ang balahibo ay nasa labas.
Sagot: Sa balut ang balahibo ay nasa loob, samantalang sa itlog ang balahibo ay nasa labas.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Baho sa bibig
Nagtatanong: Ano pong ibig sabihin kung ang tao ay nagtatabon ng kaniyang bibig kung magsasalita?
Ka Webspy: Ahh. Ang ibig sabihin, mabaho ang bibig niya. Baka may halotisis.
Nagtatanong: E kung ang kaniyang ilong ang tinatabunan kung magsasalita?
Ka Webspy: Ibig sabihin, hindi niya kayang amuyin ang baho ng bibig niya.
Nagtatanong: E kung kapwa tinabunan ang bibig at ang ilong?
Ka Webspy: Bakit mo ba tinatanong yan?
Nagtatanong: Kasi, ganyan ang ginagawa mo e.
Ka Webspy: E, pano kasi ang baho ng hininga mo! Magsipilyo ka nga!
Ka Webspy: Ahh. Ang ibig sabihin, mabaho ang bibig niya. Baka may halotisis.
Nagtatanong: E kung ang kaniyang ilong ang tinatabunan kung magsasalita?
Ka Webspy: Ibig sabihin, hindi niya kayang amuyin ang baho ng bibig niya.
Nagtatanong: E kung kapwa tinabunan ang bibig at ang ilong?
Ka Webspy: Bakit mo ba tinatanong yan?
Nagtatanong: Kasi, ganyan ang ginagawa mo e.
Ka Webspy: E, pano kasi ang baho ng hininga mo! Magsipilyo ka nga!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Init ng Babae vs Init ng Apoy
Tanong: Anong pagkakaiba ng init ng babae at init ng apoy?
Sagot: Ang init ng apoy ay nakaluluto ng talong, samantalang ang init ng babae ay nagpapabuhay ng talong.
Sagot: Ang init ng apoy ay nakaluluto ng talong, samantalang ang init ng babae ay nagpapabuhay ng talong.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Parachute vs Condom
Tanong: Anong pagkakaiba ng Parachute at Condom?
Sagot: Kung ang parachute nabutas, ang tao ay babagsak at mamatay. Kung ang condom mabutas, babagsak ang semilya at ang tao ay mabuhay.
Sagot: Kung ang parachute nabutas, ang tao ay babagsak at mamatay. Kung ang condom mabutas, babagsak ang semilya at ang tao ay mabuhay.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Protestant
Boy: Ben, what is your religion?
Ben: I am a protestant.
Boy: So you are of Satan because Satan is the first protestant.
Ben: No. I am not a protestant.
Boy: Then what?
Ben: I am a sacristan.
Boy: Yhhhhaccxxxxx.
Ben: I am a protestant.
Boy: So you are of Satan because Satan is the first protestant.
Ben: No. I am not a protestant.
Boy: Then what?
Ben: I am a sacristan.
Boy: Yhhhhaccxxxxx.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Santa Claus
Ben: Is Santa Clause a woman?
Boy: No. He is a man.
Ben: But He is a Santa?
Boy: Because he is a sex transplant.
Boy: No. He is a man.
Ben: But He is a Santa?
Boy: Because he is a sex transplant.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Sign of the Cross
Ben: Why do Catholic Priests mark their forehead, lips and chest with the sign of the cross?
Boy: It's because, all they had done were wrong!
Ben: In what way?
Boy: They mark a cross on their forehead because, their way of thinking is wrong; on the lips, because they are teaching false teachings; and on their chest because, their feelings are wrong. Summing up is equal to zero.
Ben: Where is zero.
Boy: On their head.
Ben: Kaya pala may kiskis sa toktok ng ulo nila!
Boy: It's because, all they had done were wrong!
Ben: In what way?
Boy: They mark a cross on their forehead because, their way of thinking is wrong; on the lips, because they are teaching false teachings; and on their chest because, their feelings are wrong. Summing up is equal to zero.
Ben: Where is zero.
Boy: On their head.
Ben: Kaya pala may kiskis sa toktok ng ulo nila!
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Multiplying
Boy: Did you know how to multiply?
Priest: Yeah!
Boy: 1 God times 1 God times 1 God is equal to what?
Priest: 1 God...
Boy: Wrong! it is equal to 1 God raise to the exponent of 3.
Priest: Sorry son, God haven't told us to use algebra.
Boy: Ngorkkkk!
Priest: Yeah!
Boy: 1 God times 1 God times 1 God is equal to what?
Priest: 1 God...
Boy: Wrong! it is equal to 1 God raise to the exponent of 3.
Priest: Sorry son, God haven't told us to use algebra.
Boy: Ngorkkkk!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Multiply
Boy: Father, Is the Father, God?
Priest: Yeah, He is.
Boy: How about the Son?
Priest: He is.
Boy: How about the Holy Spirit?
Priest: Also.
Boy: So there are three Gods?
Priest: No, there is only one God.
Boy: How come?
Priest: Because God said.." go to the world and multiply.." So we are not to add them but to multiply. One times One times One is equal to One.
Boy: (Collapsing)
Priest: Yeah, He is.
Boy: How about the Son?
Priest: He is.
Boy: How about the Holy Spirit?
Priest: Also.
Boy: So there are three Gods?
Priest: No, there is only one God.
Boy: How come?
Priest: Because God said.." go to the world and multiply.." So we are not to add them but to multiply. One times One times One is equal to One.
Boy: (Collapsing)
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Eat all the things
Priest: Boy, blood can be eaten.
Boy: No. God forbid us to eat blood.
Priest: Apostle Paul told us to eat all the things sold in the market.
Boy: So you are eating all things sold in the market.
Priest: Yeah!
Boy: Including Bolo, hummer and saw?
Priest: Ngieeeks!
Boy: No. God forbid us to eat blood.
Priest: Apostle Paul told us to eat all the things sold in the market.
Boy: So you are eating all things sold in the market.
Priest: Yeah!
Boy: Including Bolo, hummer and saw?
Priest: Ngieeeks!
Monday, April 18, 2005
Vampire
Priest: Boy, you are of Satan.
Boy: No.. I am not.
Priest: You are of Satan.
Boy: No, it's you who are of Satan. You are a vampire. You eat blood.
Boy: No.. I am not.
Priest: You are of Satan.
Boy: No, it's you who are of Satan. You are a vampire. You eat blood.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Of Satan
Boy: Catholic Priests are of Satan.
Priest: (Angry) Why did you said so?
Boy: Because they upheld the teaching of Satan ... "Forbidding to marry."
Priest: (Fine) I am not one of them.
Boy: But you are a priest!
Priest: Yeah, but I have wives.
Priest: (Angry) Why did you said so?
Boy: Because they upheld the teaching of Satan ... "Forbidding to marry."
Priest: (Fine) I am not one of them.
Boy: But you are a priest!
Priest: Yeah, but I have wives.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
The Angel
Angel: Father, not all angel has wings, isn't it?
Father Kulas: All angel has wings.
Angel: But, I have no wings?
Father Kulas: Because you are not an angel.
Angel: I am, Father... here is my Birth Certificate.
Father Kulas: All angel has wings.
Angel: But, I have no wings?
Father Kulas: Because you are not an angel.
Angel: I am, Father... here is my Birth Certificate.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Crush si Manalo
Eliser: Catholic Priest are afraid to have a religious debate against me!
Boy Ministro: How about with me?
Eliser: No! I don't want you. I want Manalo.... Gwapo kasi ehy.
Boy Ministro: How about with me?
Eliser: No! I don't want you. I want Manalo.... Gwapo kasi ehy.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Covet
In the confession room.
Ben: Father, I only want to ask you something. Is it fine to covet my neighbor's wife?
Father Kulas: No! Son, it is one of the ten commandments, "Do not covet your neighbor's wife."
Ben: But Father, you covet my wife!?!
Father Kulas: No! I do not covet her... she covet me.
Ben: Father, I only want to ask you something. Is it fine to covet my neighbor's wife?
Father Kulas: No! Son, it is one of the ten commandments, "Do not covet your neighbor's wife."
Ben: But Father, you covet my wife!?!
Father Kulas: No! I do not covet her... she covet me.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
False Prophet
Sorkano: (Preaching on TV) How many times Akmeda made false prophecies. He is a false prophet!
When Akmeda heard this, he immediately went to the office of Sorkano and confronted him.
Akmeda: Why did you called me the false prophet? I will sue you with libel!
Sorkano: Don't Worry, anyway I am a false prophet like you.
When Akmeda heard this, he immediately went to the office of Sorkano and confronted him.
Akmeda: Why did you called me the false prophet? I will sue you with libel!
Sorkano: Don't Worry, anyway I am a false prophet like you.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Called Catholic Church
Father Kulas: Boy, what is the reason why the Roman Church is called the Catholic Church?
Boy: Because.......I don't know Father. Basta ang alam ko, kapag mananalangin tayo sa Dios ng Katoliko ay makatatlo tayong liliko. Una ay liliko sa Ama, pagkatapos ay sa Anak, at saka sa Espiritu Santo.
Boy: Because.......I don't know Father. Basta ang alam ko, kapag mananalangin tayo sa Dios ng Katoliko ay makatatlo tayong liliko. Una ay liliko sa Ama, pagkatapos ay sa Anak, at saka sa Espiritu Santo.
Monday, April 11, 2005
God's Horn
Father Kulas: Boy, your God has horn, isn't it?
Boy: Yeah! But He put it on the buffalo, because if He put it on your head, you will be looked like a buffalo.
Boy: Yeah! But He put it on the buffalo, because if He put it on your head, you will be looked like a buffalo.
